


When I Say Team, When I Say Follow

by navaan



Category: Avengers Assemble (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotions, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Team as Family, Tony Stark-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-19 14:29:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13125630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/navaan/pseuds/navaan
Summary: The Avengers are back together, but what does that mean for his relationship with Steve?





	When I Say Team, When I Say Follow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [foldingcranes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/foldingcranes/gifts).



After the team split up, the Mansion felt empty and perhaps that was half of the reason why the two of them don't actually go there very often any more. They used to see each other there all the time even before they'd gotten together, but now there as just too much room, too much silence for the two of them to bare alone. Tony kept telling himself that was why he started looking into the West Coast holdings of Stark Industries and why he ended up spending more time in L.A. than in New York. 

But Steve wasn't doing much better.

He'd joined forces with SHIELD following Nick Fury's invitation a while ago, and he was trying to build a new life for himself for the first time since the Avengers had pulled him from the ice. It was important to him to do this, but it also felt it gave him just one more reason to pull away from Tony.

“Want me to help with finding an apartment?” Tony asked and watched Steve's smile via video call. He missed him, but he had known from the start that someone like him had no right to Steve at all. This relationship was always a little too good to be true and the best he could hope for now was to be a good friend and lover; a one man support network that helped when it was needed. 

“The prices to live in Brooklyn are unbelievable,” Steve complained and then shook his head and said: “But no, I know you want to help, but this is something I have to do on my own.”

The words fell off Steve's tongue easily and Tony wondered how many times he'd examined his own reasons for what he was doing. He hadn't once suggested they find a place together and Tony hadn't either. 

Things were much more complicated when you rarely found the time to be in the same room.

So Tony told himself this was a test.

They'd formed a friendship in Steve's first year after his miraculous return to life and Tony had always known how much it meant to Steve then to have the Avengers around, to not be left alone in a strange world that had moved on without him. The bond they shared had formed at that time, when Steve had still been feeling out whether he belonged here, what to do with this second life he'd been granted. Tony had always been aware of that, and had watched how Steve had slowly step by step arrived and gotten comfortable in the here and now.

Tony wasn't new to this stage in relationships. 

They grew, they got comfortable and they inevitable outgrew him.

That was why the Avengers had been disbanded.

That was why he and Steve were currently on different sides of the country.

He never held hard feelings for his lovers after they moved on and it would be an impossibility to feel anything of the kind towards Steve. Who in their right mind could feel anything but awe and adoration for the handsome relic with the all-American cheesecake smile? 

Not Tony.

That much he was sure of.

The next time they saw each other, Steve had found a new living space in Washington with the help of Nick Fury and without talking to Tony before moving in. Tony listened to him talking about it, took in how happy he looked. His relaxed happiness brought a smile to Tony's lips too, despite the slight pang of regret. 

“I'm sorry, we're not spending more time together,” Steve said over his dinner plate and Tony made an effort to smile more brightly. He could see the hints of guilt and worry – emotions that Steve had perhaps not yet even realized he was feeling. It was nice to know that he too missed Tony, even though maybe they were both learning to be less dependent on each other.

“Have you wondered,” Tony asked, “why we never told the team about us?”

Steve blinked and looked down into his drink, his smile momentarily dimming. “It never seemed like the right time,” he said and sounded apologetic.

There was no reason for it. Tony had understood their need for privacy then and he knew there was nothing they owed anyone now. But he couldn't help but wonder about how much of a difference it would have made for them after the team had split up.

* * *

Seeing Thor and Hulk demolishing the until then ever pristine and rarely ever used kitchen in what had been Tony's bachelor home in New York until a week ago, was more than a little eerie. He'd built Stark Tower for himself upon his return to New York, because living in the Mansion was just not an option. Everything there had reminded him of the things he used to have.

A team. A makeshift rag tag family. Friends. Cap.

He was _over_ Steve, of course.

No longer dwelling on it.

Now the team was back in his life and in the home he'd built since they'd split up, but it didn't change anything.

The lingering feelings, the fluttering of his heart when Steve was in danger, when Steve was smiling at him, when Steve was just _there_ changed nothing. Lingering emotions. He still loved Steve, and they hadn't ever stopped being friends.

And he was only thinking about this at all, because he already regretted sharing his kitchen... 

“I never asked,” Steve's wry voice asked from behind him and he turned.

“About how much money I have set aside for kitchen renovations?” He looked over his shoulder to see Cap lean in the doorway – still clad in his uniform, but cowl pulled back to show his face. Right now he was the picture of relaxed calm and his lips were curling up into an amused smile at Tony's question.

He wanted to feel the same level of calm. But a particularly loud crash drew his attention back to the kitchen. “Guys? Can you take this to the training room until I invented a superpower proof refrigerator? Will only take a few hours, I promise.”

Thor laughed, Hulk huffed and behind him Steve chuckled. 

“Okay,” he said and rolled his eyes at all of them. “Whatever. I brought this on myself.”

He made a step back to lean against the wall beside Steve. “I will need to renovate.”

“No,” Steve said. “You've had this all planned out even before you built this place, hadn't you?”

He frowned at Steve who was still smiling. “No, I hadn't. This was supposed to be my space.”

“Uh-huh.” Steve was grinning with his whole face now and stared at him as if he wanted to convey some deeper meaning. “I know you, Tony. You were waiting for this. Rooms for everyone ready at a word? Kitchen big enough to handle these two. Training room for...”

“Iron Man.”

“Sure,” Steve said. “Let's stick to that story if it makes you feel better.” He was still grinning at Tony.

Tony huffed. “Being on a team was always exasperating.”

“You love it and you know it,” Steve said with altogether too much merriment. 

Their eyes met and for the moment his breath caught in his chest – it was like an icy knife pushing into his chest, the all too familiar feeling of the arc reactor being ripped from him, painful and taking his breath away. His hand moved up unconsciously and Steve caught the movement, and a frown took over his features.

He couldn't know what it was Tony was feeling right now.

_Longing._

_Deep regret._

“You _do_ love it. You were mentoring Sam before it even looked like there would be Avengers again.”

“That wasn't...”

“Sure,” Steve said and the smile was back. He clapped a hand to his shoulder before he slipped out into the hallway. “Thank you for the room. I really like being in New York again.”

“Glad you're back, Cap,” he mumbled, watching Steve's retreating back.

_I know you, Tony._

A crash sounded through the kitchen.

And for the first time since the kitchen fight had started, Tony smiled and meant it.

* * *

_He was in L.A. when a new splinter group of Hydra attacked the Helicarrier. News stations all over the country were broadcasting Captain America falling towards the ground from incredible height from all angles._

_And Tony was too far away, had been too distracted to even catch the news in time._

_He put on the armor and went, ignoring the fact that there was a board meeting and that he was supposed to be there. For weeks he'd been the model CEO._

_By the time he arrived he took out the weapon the terrorist had used against the SHIELD flagship. After clean up he found Steve lying in a med bed on SHIELD base. “Tony,” he said weakly and smiled. “Glad you were there.”_

_“I wasn't there when it mattered.” He still couldn't believe he hadn't put a special alert on every single news relating to SHIELD that day. “I was too busy. I'm sorry.”_

_“I wasn't there when the Living Laser destroyed the L.A. plant. I was in Russia at the time. I should have called. But I knew you were okay.” Steve sounded tired and just a bit disoriented._

_Tony waited till the SHIELD doctor slipped out of the room and then reached for Steve's hand, squeezed his fingers. “Don't apologize,” he said softly. “We're both busy.”_ I'm so glad you're alive. __

__

* * *

He woke up and the Tower was for once blessed with silence. Jarvis gave him a quick rundown of what he needed to be aware off. After a short detour to the kitchen where he picked up something to drink and a sandwich, he wandered down to his workshop and set to work on the new armor enhancement he'd had in mind for a while.

There was a Quinjet to repair and make better – and it wouldn't do harm to program the training room to provide a new challenge to the team. 

Out of a hard to break habit he opened the channels and made a sweep for trouble, seeing all flags he'd set for the Avengers in the time when his daily routine had involved keeping track of his former team mates.

The door to the workshop opened and swished shut again and someone entered. Over the last weeks he'd become used to Sam walking in and out of the room, whenever he needed something. The kid was smart and Tony wanted him to have what he needed to get even smarter. They'd find better room and a better working space for Sam soon, and until then he tried his best to be patient and accommodating when he could.

“You're up early, Sam. Is Cap rubbing off on you?”

“Did I rub off on you?” Steve asked and Tony's head shot up. The person who had entered was, of course, Steve. He was still dressed in his track pants and a simple, white t-shirt; a towel was wrapped around his neck and his hair was damp from a recent shower. Tony knew he must have returned from his morning run.

“Did your laps in Central Park?”

Steve grinned. “I missed this. Nothing better than New York during the early morning.” 

“If you say so, Cap.”

As Steve slowly walked closer, Tony closed all windows with a flick of his wrist, but he had the sinking feeling that Steve had seen what he'd been doing. 

“Ah,” he said and confirmed Tony's suspicions, “were you keeping tabs on us all this time? Because you _didn't_ miss the team?”

Tony cleared his throat. “Only when the world wasn't blowing up around me.”

“Ah,” Steve repeated and there were the slight crinkles around his eyes that Tony remembered so well. By now Steve was close enough to lean over his shoulder where he was sitting. “You came for me,” Steve said more quietly. “Red Skull would have gotten his way if you hadn't. Thank you, Tony.”

 _This is just Cap,_ he told himself. _He's just being friendly. Nothing more._

Speech didn't want to form against the knot in his throat. But he forced out the words: “I'm glad we stopped him,” and hoped Steve wouldn't pick up on the breathless quality.

“I'm also glad,” Steve said softly, “that getting involved didn't kill you.”

“That wasn't...”

He hadn't stopped once in the last days to examine how close they'd both come to annihilation at the hands of Red Skull. Firs Skull had tried to steal Steve's body and trap his enemy in his own failing form, then he'd ripped the armor from Tony along with the arc reactor.

Steve touched a hand to his shoulder and squeezed. “On the Quintet, I thought we wouldn't get you help in time. I'm glad we did.”

“We're both here now. With a team of Avengers. Would you have thought that possible two weeks ago? We do the impossible.”

The hand on his shoulder gave another squeeze. “Don't hide in your workshop all day, or I'll send Hulk looking for you.”

“Jolly Green I'm not worried about. Don't send Natasha,” he quipped. “I'm actually afraid of her.”

* * *

_“This isn't working, Steve,” he mumbled._

_“I know,” Steve admitted and he sounded like the admission pained him._

_Neither of them looked happy about it._

_But they hadn't seen each other in nearly two months and neither of them had taken any particular steps to change something about the situation._

_“This isn't fair to you,” Steve said softly._

_There was a “but” hanging in the air and Tony didn't want to hear this. He was sad and at the same time so relieved that they were finally acknowledging this._

_“I'm too busy,” he said easily._ A good boyfriend would follow you to the ends of the world. And here I am missing you like a fucking idiot, but not making any move to change anything about it. _“I'm sorry, Steve.”_

_Steve kissed him, but there was no urgency in his kiss._

_It was a good-bye._

_“I'm sorry, too, Tony. I'll always be there when you need me, but right now I need to...”_

_“I understand.”_

_They sat together on the sofa in silence. It made sense. They were both not good with letting go. But it was better to let go now, and salvage their friendship._

_“I'll miss you,” Steve whispered._

_“I'll be here,” Tony said. “Or wherever you need me. We're still friends. You'll always be important to me.”_

_And this was how it ended._

_Quietly and without any drama._

_Over the years of their friendship and the months of their relationships, they'd had their disagreements, but there was no conflict between them now. Tony couldn't even say his feelings for Steve had changed in any way. It was just not working out._

* * *

Months passed and the Avengers were slowly working out who they were now as a team. It didn't all go smoothly. All of them were the kind of strong characters who demanded to get their way, who clashed sometimes, who had to figure out their loyalties to the new team, but for the most part everyone fell into the dynamic of superhero flat mates very quickly.

Which for the most part meant that everyone complained when the common room was a mess, but nobody did anything about it. 

So Tony made sure JARVIS was always on top of it and kept all of the rooms and all Avengers provided for.

For the first few weeks Tony had trouble getting used to being around that many people constantly – and as he was the leader of this team everyone looked to him for guidance. More and more he found he was looking to Steve for cues. And right now, in the early hours of the morning the two of them were the only people in the kitchen, sharing a quick breakfast. 

He watched Steve make scrambled eggs and then neatly put out two plates before Tony had even had a chance to ask for it.

“You should really be the leader of this team, Cap, everyone respects you. Everyone would follow your lead.”

“Your team, Tony. You lead, I follow.” Steve grinned and pushed the filled plate in front of him, then put a fork right by his hand.

“Why?” It was an honest question, because he hadn't really figured out yet why any of them were here. 

“Because you're Tony Stark and I trust you.”

When Steve said it like that it didn't sound hollow, but it didn't exactly tell Tony anything.

“Are you having doubts?” Steve asked.

Tony was aware that Steve hadn't picked up his own fork yet, but was watching him intently. “I'm Tony Stark,” he said, and meant to imply, “do I look like someone who has doubts?”

“Don't, Tony,” Steve said, not picking up on that last bit or not falling for it. “This team has formed around you on its own this time. Because you brought us back together. Because you were looking out for us when we _weren't_.”

“That's not what...”

Steve reached over the table to put his hand over his and Tony broke off, stared at it, suddenly at a loss. When he looked up Steve was smiling at him softly.

_Too soft._

It made his heart ache with longing. For how long after going their separate ways had he missed this smile?

“That's exactly what happened, Tony. And now we can build from there, together, alright?”

He was still aware of the large hand with the strong elegant fingers that was covering his and felt caught in the shine of Steve's smile. “Okay,” he said softly, and couldn't make himself look away.

Of course, that was the moment when Natasha, who had silently let herself into the kitchen, and who with a bruise on her cheek looked like her little errand had gone awry, said loudly: “Ah, of course, back to gazing into each other's eyes. How I missed this. Don't mind me.”

She opened the fridge to take out a can of soda and scampered off as quickly and as quietly as she had appeared. 

Tony stared after her and only realized Steve had never let go of his hand, when Natasha was long gone.

“Do you think,” Tony starts, “they knew?”

Steve shrugged and slowly pulled his hand away. He looked amused, but not uncomfortable. “Spies. Who knows what they know. Eat your eggs before they get cold.”

And because it gave him something to do, he followed Steve's advise and ate his breakfast.

* * *

_He decided to go back to New York, because he missed it. But Avengers Mansion was still empty without any Avengers and the silence was even more oppressive without Steve around. And it was time for a new place anyway. Iron Man deserved a new and better armory._

_That was the underlying plan that drove the construction of Stark Tower._

_He was Iron Man._

_He deserved a better HQ._

_That didn't explain why he built a Quinjet landing bay that with the armor he would never need, or why he built levels of quarters _for guests _or set up a monitoring algorithm to tell him all Avengers were okay.___

___It didn't matter at the time._ _ _

___They were all out of touch and could take care of themselves, right?_ _ _

___And it was just a coincidence that one day he walked into one of the small apartments and realized that, yes, this had the right lighting to be an art studio, if someone were in fact to ever need one._ _ _

___Not that he needed one._ _ _

___Why would he need one?_ _ _

___He had labs, a work shop and an armory – and that was all he needed._ _ _

___Right?_ _ _

____

* * *

A few months in, Tony would admit he hadn't really dared to think this would last. He was a cynic and not annoying other people wasn't always his best quality. Holding this team together with funding and leadership was also not easy.

In the last two weeks he'd been de-aged and had clung to Captain America like he was a life line, been knocked out of the sky by Modok and now he found himself in the next predicament – he was stuck without the armor in a crashing plane with a bomb. He knew what to do about it, of course.

“Stop worrying, Cap,” he said via comms. “Genius here. I have this.”

“I always worry,” Steve said truthfully. “Not because I don't trust you.”

“I get it,” he admitted and nervously worked on the bomb. He worried about losing one of the others all the time. He'd nearly stopped the reforming of this team because of it.

He was about a minute away from a location where the explosion would not do any harm and it as looking more and more likely that he wouldn't get to defuse this bomb.

“Can't get it loose,” he said softly. “I'll have to get out. JARVIS? New armor on its way?”

“It will arrive at your location in 3.45 minutes, sir,” the AI said.

That would be just a bit too late.

“Tony?” 

“I'll get out in time,” he assured and eyed the parachute. “Don't worry, old man.”

“I told you...”

The plane shook on impact and the comms broke off. Drones. Drones were attacking the plane. Whoever had a grudge against Tony and had orchestrated the whole thing wasn't going to wait for him to dismantle or defuse the bomb. It was time to step out.

Into the comms he whispered: “I'll step out. Anyone there?”

There was no answer. 

Trying to keep a clear head as another barrage of shots shook the small aircraft, he gave his current location.

He knew this was going to be a close call either way. But the armor would be deployed and on its way and the Quinjet couldn't be too far behind. Everything went fast, he took the parachute, fastened it to himself, jumped, heard the explosion of another impact, knew a drone was following him down as he feel. Beneath him the darkness of the ocean beckoned and as suddenly turned orange when the plane above him went up in flames. The blast knocked him down faster, but the parachute went up late and he crashed into icy cold water seconds later, struggling to get free of the fabric.

He was fighting against the waves, against the now not helpful parachute and the vanishing air in his lungs as he was pulled under.

Above the darkness he could still see the orange flare and finally he got out of the straps holding him and made to the surface.

His lungs burned and his hear was beating in his chest too fast and painful. The water was too cold.

“Tony?!”

He knew that voice calling him from the cold and darkness.

Steve.

Right now there wasn't enough air in his lungs to shout back. 

“Tony?!”

A floodlight fell on the sea and the next moment the Quinjet was above him, Steve hanging in the opened hatch. “There you are,” he said and grinned. But even with his blurry sight Tony realized that Steve was worried.

Thor pulled him out of the water, flying him up to the hatch where Steve could grab him and pull him inside. “Hi,” he said weakly. “Remind me to not lose the armor during terrorist attacks?”

“I'll write you a note. On actual paper,” Steve informed him, tone wry, but a little too low and soft.

“I'm freezing,” he complained, because right now he didn't want to face the softness, the worry. It was easier to focus on Hulk and Thor and Widow, who made jokes at his expense, while Steve supported him silently.

They'd had their fair share of hugs and supportive shoulder clapping since their break-up, but this was the first time Steve had refused to let him go when he tried to entangle himself.

“Cap?”

“Don't do that,” Steve said softly. 

“What am I...?” Tony asked back quietly.

“Don't pull away.”

His mouth fell shut and he recognized some of the longing and worry. Some of that had been what made him put this team back together in the first place. Unable to say or ask anything he let himself be pulled along and accepted that Steve was there, stubbornly pushing Tony to accept his help. He did let himself take it, accepted the closeness, the worried touches and the glances.

It was hard though.

He still remembered more intimate moments too well.

And he had accepted a long time ago that he would never be not in love with Steve Rogers.

Life just wasn't fair.

* * *

He thought that after everyone had been convinced of the fact that he was alright, he'd thought he'd heard the end of it. So after everything he hid out for a while doing some repairs in his workshop, keeping the doors to it stubbornly closed.

Only hours later, when he was sure, things must have blown over, he ventured out into the Tower. 

But everything was dark. 

There were no crashes sounding from the kitchen and no sounds coming from the common room, like no Avengers were around at all.

He slowly walked towards the kitchen anyway feeling a little hungry and too tired to go out just for the sake of avoiding Steve's worried glances.

Of course, he wasn't at all surprised to find Steve sitting in the dimly lit kitchen on one of the stools at the counter, like he was guarding the fridge. When Steve looked up at him his gaze was clear of worry, but the softness was still there. Tony stopped in the door, a hand on the frame and felt like he'd been caught, like he needed to flee before he did something he'd regret. 

“Hi,” Steve said softly.

“Hi.” He wanted to ask why they were going to have this conversation in a half-dark kitchen that should be filled with Avengers.

“I knew you'd come out sooner or later.”

“Yeah,” Tony said and looked towards the fridge, wondering how long Steve had been sitting there to make sure he couldn't get food or snacks without anyone noticing. “You know me too well.” As soon as the words had slipped out he wanted to take them back.

Steve got up and Tony made an unconscious step to the side, ready to let Steve pass out of the kitchen, but determinedly like he did everything he set his mind to, Steve walked right to him and pulled him into a hug.

Awkwardly Tony patted his broad shoulders where he could reach. “There, there, Cap. I'm okay. Nothing happened really.”

“I missed you,” Steve said, interrupting. “I missed you. For all the time we were apart and... I probably missed you before we broke up, but I was so caught up in everything else at the time.”

Tony's breath caught in his throat. He felt like a rag doll in Steve's embrace, but then he clung back, held on to him with just as much desperation as Steve was showing. “I missed you too.”

“Why did we ever...?”

“I don't know? It was just – complicated.”

He hid his face in the crook of Steve's neck, let the warmth seep into him and tried to keep his own emotions in. 

“I love you, Tony. I'm sorry I didn't say it right away.”

“Oh,” Tony said and huffed. “We're not that good at this.”

“Actually,” someone said from the door and Tony looked over his shoulder to see Natasha and Sam stand in the hallway watching them. “The two of you are painfully obvious and have the married act down better than my parents,” Sam informed him. “It's unbelievable that you _weren't_ together the whole time.”

“We're leaving now,” Natasha said and put a hand on Sam's shoulder to steer him away. “You have the Tower until tomorrow evening. Don't tell us what you were doing, thanks.”

Tony blinked after them, then looked at Steve. “You...?”

“I asked them to give us some room.”

“Oh.” _Oh._

That meant they all knew.

Steve took his hand and pulled him over to the common room. The lights there were also dimmed and a table had been set up for two by the floor to ceiling windows. His heart gave a loud and painful thud.

“You're such an old-fashioned romantic.”

Steve smiled and walked over to light the candle and pull out Tony's chair. “You know what you're getting into.”

He did.

He was glad to let himself fall back into it head over heels.

And this time, he'd not let it slip to his fingers.


End file.
